As many of you know, I celebrate a lot of weddings! I LOVE weddings! I enjoy the process of engaging them (No pun intended!) and helping them to craft the perfect wedding ceremony. I also enjoy being there for them on their special day and later, I often get to baptize babies and every now and then, to help someone they love transitions from this life to the next in death. I am often called to help them when sick or when they are in trouble. In other words, I enjoy weddings because it helps me create relationships with them; ongoing, long-term relationships. I am there for them in sickness and in health, in good times and on bad…just like they promised to be there for each other when they declared their vows.
Being married myself now, an unexpected and often difficult gift from God, I also know firsthand how much work it takes to give a marriage to the other. Marriage is always about the other. This is why the Wedding Feast at Cana is so valuable to us; those married and those unmarried, as we are all wed to the Church through Christ Himself. And it all takes sacrifice, giving, unconditional love, hope, and hard work. In our Gospel this Sunday some who comment say that the wine ran out because the couple was poor. Personally, I (and I am sure Father Liam!) prefer to think that the wine ran out because they had so many friends. Wouldn’t it be beautiful if every home ran out of wine due to their great hospitality! In the end, a relationship that does not share with others is destined to drink only from their own wine as long as it lasts or until it goes bad. This is like all relationships, especially intimate ones like marriage.
Sometimes I meet sad or angry couples that greatly resemble the empty jars from our Gospel. Stone jars, just like a heart that hardens with time due to disappointments and a lack of forgiveness. Their marriage often fails, like many relationships, so if the jars are not refilled with the wine of joy and forgiveness, they become worthless; they are the mere semblance of what they were, like our withered and angry hearts. Then it is easy to walk away.
Jesus, then, does not only change water into wine but He also transforms the jars. They are no longer instruments for the carrying out of the law, but become the source of joy. When a couple starts to try to assign responsibilities and obligations it means that the heart is already emptying and becoming an empty jar. However, if we give unconditionally and sacrifice, then our ‘land will no longer be called Forsaken nor Devastated (ref. Isaiah 62). Such is the love of Christ: that of a spouse and thus we can all learn how to love more deeply by giving up our stone hearts.
May He show us the way to soften our hearts into ones that give in abundance and then see the joy that comes!
Monsignor +Jim